


Animagi

by themugwump



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Sousuke and Makoto being bros, animagus au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themugwump/pseuds/themugwump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Learning to be an animagus is hard work. And how is Haru so good at it already - it's not fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First lesson

Rin was excited, it was obvious. He was fidgeting and biting his lip. Sousuke was pretty nervous too, but he didn’t show it, staring stoically out the window. He could see Makoto and Ai in the reflection, both of them looked like they were trying very hard not to cry. Nagisa was practically out of his seat he was so excited. Rei looked calm, but Sousuke could see one of his heels pounding a tattoo on the floor. Only Haru looked serene, then again, thought Sousuke, he was the only one who really knew. He’d been having his dream for years. They sat in class as Sensei Amakata began explaining what they had to do.

“I know all of you are very nervous, but don’t worry, you’re all meant to be animagi – it’s in your blood. The process is actually quite straight forward. This potion once consumed, will bring on dreams of the creature you will turn into. It may take a while for the potion to work, some minds are more resistant than others – but eventually all of you will know his or her creature.”

Sousuke tried to look like he didn’t care, but inside he was roiling in fear, what if he was an ant? Or a piece of coral? His cousin had had the great misfortune to have the animagus form of a sea urchin. He looked over at Rin jealously, despite Rin’s nervousness, Sousuke knew Rin was destined to be something spectacular, something fantastic, ferocious and beautiful. Sousuke sighed, stop thinking, you are what you are, he told himself.

Sensei Amakata passed vials of the potion around. “Tonight, remember to record your dreams, as seeing your animal is crucial to the next stage of the process.”

***

Well, obviously Rei couldn’t sleep. He knew all the techniques. Counting sheep, deep rhythmic breathing exercises, running as hard as he could to wear himself out, eating lots of food. None of it was working and it was now 3am. He tossed and turned willing himself to sleep.

***

 

“So what did you dream about Rei-chan?” asked Nagisa bouncing up to him. Rei just coughed and slid his glasses up his nose, adjusting his grip on the train’s hand rail.

“Um- well, I-” he stalled.

“You didn’t see it?!?!?!” asked Nagisa petulantly, his face falling  
“Well, that’s not exactly-” Rei blustered  
“OH NO! REI CHAN!! – I SO WANT TO KNOW!!!” Rei tried to change the subject.  
“Did you see yours?”  
“YES!!!” Nagisa skipped happily, “I SAW A ROCKHOPPER PENGUIN!! WHICH ARE MY FAVOURITE TYPE OF PENGUINS AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!”  
Rei smiled, “But Rei-chan, did you manage to sleep at all last night?” asked Nagisa peering up at him in an irritatingly astute manner. “You’ve got bags under your eyes.”  
“If you MUST know-” Rei huffed “I couldn’t.”  
“Why?”  
“BECAUSE THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!!!” He exploded, trust Nagisa to not understand the GRAVITY of the situation!

“Oh don’t worry Rei-chan, I’m sure you’ll sleep tonight,” Nagisa said smiling encouragingly up at him. Rei tried to smile back but he was still far too irritated, worst of all, not sleeping would effect his neurological processing, making him 13.23% less attentive today. Nagisa was infuriating.


	2. Dreaming and not dreaming

“So, who had a dream last night?”

About half the class raised their hands. Makoto didn’t, and sighed. His parents had both had their dreams straight away. Haru had had his for years, and OF COURSE Rin put up his hand. Makoto didn’t think Rin had been unsure about anything in his entire life. Sometimes he really wanted to throttle that stupid redhead, oh god, had he really just thought that?? Of course he didn’t want to do that… but here he was again, playing second fiddle to Rin, it wasn’t fair.

He noticed too, that Sousuke had hesitantly put up his hand, as did Ai – Makoto smiled: Nagisa’s was practically reaching the ceiling he was stretching his arm up so hard. Momo and Haru both looked almost bored as they held up their hands. So it was just him and Rei then. Makoto sighed, and then smiled in congratulations when he spotted Nagisa looking over at him worriedly.

“I know not all of you dreamed last night, and that is perfectly fine, sometimes it can take years. The key is to think deeply about yourself, for you must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self, only then can your true self reveal itself.” Well, that was completely unhelpful, thought Makoto.

“Obviously this is a deeply personal transition, so if any of you wish to keep your animal form a secret, or wish to discontinue this course, please see me after class.”

The bell rang for lunch, and everyone made a slightly indecent exit, clamoring for the door. They were barely out of the classroom when-  
“So what are you?!?!?!!?” rang out – Makoto wasn’t sure who said it, but they all began talking at once, Nagisa’s shrill voice cut over all of them.  
“I’M A ROCKHOPPER PENGUIN!!!”  
“Of course you are!” laughed Momo  
“What are you??”  
“An otter, obviously” Momo said, puffing himself up proudly.  
“Rin-chan – what’s yours???” asked Nagisa looking up at Rin imploringly.  
Rin grinned, Makoto could see every one of his disgusting teeth – no he did not just think that – Rin’s teeth were fine. Rin snapped them at Nagisa, his eyes alight - “A great white shark obviously!”  
Makoto was pleased to see Sousuke roll his eyes. He wasn’t the only one fed up with Rin’s theatrics.  
“Haru-chan’s a dolphin, obviously” stated Nagisa, so that leaves… “Ai-chan?!?! What’s yours?”  
“Oh-erm – well – er” Ai stammered  
Sousuke suddenly seemed to grow taller, towering over the rest of them “If you don’t want to answer, don’t.” He stated.  
“AWWWW SOU-CHAN!!! Don’t be like that! What was yours?” Sousuke glowered down at Nagisa who seemed to shrink away.

***

“C’mon man, what did you dream about?” Rin needled.  
Sousuke remained stoic, looking away from him.  
“For fuck’s sake, I’m your best friend. What’s wrong? You know mine.”  
Rin couldn’t tell what was going on with Sousuke. All he knew was Sousuke was being stupid. Again.  
“Sousuke, I wouldn’t care if your animagus form was a goddamn marshmallow, what’s wrong?? What did you see?? Why are you so riled up??”  
Sousuke glared at the horizon. Rin elbowed him in the arm, when that didn’t work he knocked his head into Sousuke’s shoulder. Sousuke still didn’t turn.  
“Who’s being a grumpy gills?” he put on his best, fishiest pout. It didn’t fail. Rin could see the side of Sousuke’s mouth reluctantly twitch up.  
“C’mon man, seriously, was it something stupid? Or not aquatic?”  
“No, it’s not that. Sort of.”  
“I guess-” Sousuke began, then “I dunno.” Rin waited, he knew Sousuke was on the verge of telling him, and if he said anything now and fucked it, knowing Sousuke he wouldn’t find out for another three months.  
“I couldn’t see it very clearly…” he muttered “but I think it was.. I’m not sure… I mean… I thought” Sousuke sighed, and then it came tumbling out “I thought it was a lantern shark, but like I said, I could barely see it, but I think that’s what it was, it had weird spots, but I dunno, I dunno what it was.”  
Rin sat there, “but, that’s not so bad, we’ll still be able to have fun in the water together.” Sousuke nodded. Rin grinned “and I’ll be bigger than you for once”. Sousuke rolled his eyes “I knew you were going to say that.”  
Rin grinned again, and looked at Sousuke knowingly, it was on the tip of his tongue to rib him about being all of 20cm long… but no, he’d worked too hard to get Sousuke to trust him. He let him off, just this once. “Hey, Sousuke.”  
“What?” asked Sousuke, resigned.  
“We’re both sharks.”  
“I guess we are.” Suddenly Sousuke felt much better. “But I won’t be able to do anything cool – don’t lantern sharks just hang around in shallow water…”  
“I guess we’ll find out,” Rin shrugged “besides, being an animagus isn’t the most important thing in the world.”  
Sousuke sighed “I guess not.”  
Rin punched him on the arm “I like it when you tell me stuff.”  
Sousuke looked around at him, surprised “I do tell you stuff,”  
Rin kicked the dirt in front of him “you don’t usually. Not important stuff. Anyway-“ he said trying to sound casual “so far everyone’s aquatic so we can all go swimming together!”  
Sousuke slowly smiled back, “yeah, I can hang out with Momo and Nagisa in the shallows I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you spot my A:TLA reference? ;)


	3. Sleep Deprivation

Rei was determined. Tonight he would sleep. He was exhausted. It was going to happen. He hadn’t slept in 36 hours. Perfect.

“I wonder what your creature will be…” wondered Nagisa, happily licking an ice cream. Rei looked away. He knew secretly he wanted to be something beautiful. Like the sea eagles he watched wheeling over their town, or a peacock with brilliant blue plumage. If he wished too hard he was certain it wouldn’t happen. So he shrugged carefully. Nagisa finished his ice cream, licking at the last trickle running down his wrist. Rei kept worrying- tonight he just needed 3 hours sleep to get into REM sleep and have enough time to see his creature. 3 hours. He could do that, he wasn’t that nervous anymore. Although his eyelid kept twitching, but that wasn’t necessarily nerves. It was probably a physiological response to the very bright sunset. Oh god, but what if his animal was ugly, he supposed everything could be beautiful in a certain light… but oh god, if he was a cane toad… he shuddered.

Nagisa’s head nudged at his shoulder. “Don’t worry Rei-chan. You’ll be the most beautiful of us all.” Nagisa’s face looked up at him earnestly – eyes of brilliant magenta caught him off guard. Rei’s breath caught in his throat. “Th-th-thank you, Nagisa-kun.”  
Nagisa smiled and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly “besides even if you’re not, you’ll still be the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen.”  
“Nagisa!” Rei flushed bright red and pulled his hand away.  
“I’m just being honest.” said Nagisa, unabashed.

“I HAVE TO GO TO THE LIBRARY NOW.” said Rei loudly, turning around and walking quickly in the opposite direction.  
“Rei chan? REI! WAIT – You’re going the wrong way!” Nagisa scrambled after Rei who was walking briskly toward the sunset and away from the town. Rei couldn’t deal with this – he was too tired, and he wasn’t completely sure what was going on, and maybe it was the potion messing with his head and he just needed to get away from Nagisa.  
“Rei! There’s a-” Nagisa cried out, grabbing for Rei’s arm.   
It was at that moment Rei noticed the ground abruptly fall away, and he found himself tumbling down the slope.Nagisa came toppling down after him.

They tumbled over each other, bouncing off the grass, leaves and bits of soil sticking to their clothes and hair, until they came to rest at the bottom – Nagisa splayed out over Rei in a heap.

Nagisa pushed himself up and looked down at Rei’s sweaty face.  
“Rei-chan, you’re bright red.” Nagisa observed  
“I know.”  
“Don’t worry, you’re still beautiful.” Rei looked up at Nagisa’s face. The sunlight glanced off Nagisa’s hair, his eyes were a brilliant fuschia – Rei’s favourite colour, his cheeks were flushed and he was smiling at Rei – Rei had never seen anything so exquisite. He reacted instinctively:

“Can you stop saying that!!”  
“Why? You are.” said Nagisa, still staring at him.  
“You can’t say that to another man!”  
“But I just did.” Nagisa pointed out helpfully. Rei was uncomfortably aware of how close they were, he could feel Nagisa’s body heat, the sugary smell of his breath.  
Then Nagisa did something Rei really wasn’t ready for. Gently, Nagisa brushed his fingertips slowly across Rei’s cheek. Rei’s heart stopped. He held his breath. All he could do was feel Nagisa’s fingertips – like four burning points of contact on his skin. He couldn’t move. Then-  
“Sorry.” Nagisa muttered, pulling away “I didn’t mean to do that.”  
He got off Rei and stood up, stretching his arms out ostentatiously.  
“Well, we better get back. Homework to do, all that jazz.”

Rei wasn’t really sure what made him do it. Maybe it was the stress, or the lack of sleep. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was he found himself standing up and pulling Nagisa into a hug. Nagisa was caught by surprise, but snaked his arms around Rei’s waist.

“I think you’re beautiful too.” Rei whispered in Nagisa’s ear. Nagisa looked up disbelieving. Quickly, before he had time to think, Rei leaned down and swept his lips along Nagisa’s. His hands fingering Nagisa’s sunlit hair. Nagisa kissed back fervently, Rei felt Nagisa’s hands on the nape of his neck as Nagisa pulled him down.

***

Rei was furious. He wasn’t furious at Nagisa. But he was furious at himself. He got so caught up, so stupidly frenzied with hormones, that he had only dreamt about one thing, and he was pretty sure his animagus form couldn’t actually be Nagisa. And now he had to get through another day at school not knowing. He’d never been last to know anything before in his life. His one small consolation was at least Makoto didn’t seem to have any idea either.


	4. Reflective Surfaces

Haru watched Makoto in the reflection of the window. He could see Makoto was anxious and unhappy – the set of his shoulders was tense, and his mouth formed a thin line. This was the only way Haru could really see Makoto, as soon as Makoto caught someone looking at him his smile was automatic.

Sometimes that was just the way Makoto was, but sometimes, like now, Haru wished Makoto would stop trying so hard. 

Haru wasn’t sure why being a dolphin had always been so obvious to him, and not to the others. But his parents had been the same, their animagus forms had always been with them. He supposed he took after them, he’d been transforming since he was eight. Not that the school knew that, after all, it was dangerous and illegal under the age of sixteen.

Haru was confused. He usually wasn’t confused. He didn’t like being confused. He couldn’t understand why something that came so easily to him, was so impossible for Makoto. He gazed at Makoto in the reflection. His brilliant green eyes were unfocused and he was gnawing on his lip.

“I know a few of you haven’t had the dream yet, and that is okay!” smiled Sensei Amakata encouragingly “however we’re going to keep moving forward. So this class may be a bit useless to you until you know your animagus form.”

“I know some of you have aquatic creatures, so the next lessons will be held at the beach where I can supervise your first attempts at transforming. For those who have yet to have their dream, sometimes seeing others transform can help, so I do recommend you continue to attend, even if you cannot yet transform yourself.”

Haru looked back at Makoto, he was still chewing his lip.

***

“This is going to be AWESOME!” grinned Rin bounding up to Haru as soon as they got out of class “You’re a dolphin, I’m a shark – we can swim together!” Haru let Rin put an arm around him disinterestedly, looking over at the nearest shiny surface which happened to be a locker. He could see Makoto’s shape - he had been right behind him as he’d left the classroom, but now Haru saw Makoto’s shape take a few steps away.

“Mm,” said Haru, still watching Makoto in the reflection of the locker. He was walking away.

***

Makoto was a nice person. He genuinely was. He knew he was, which was why wanting to stab Rin was freaking him out slightly. He didn’t want to ‘stab’ him per se. But why was he ALWAYS there. Rin was the same height as Haru, the same speed in the water as Haru, they were rivals in everything. Even now, Haru and Rin managed to have a fucking soul connection – being a dolphin and a shark. How close could you get???!!? They could do everything together as animagi!! They could explore the ocean. And here was he, Makoto, having no fucking clue. He probably didn’t even have an animagus form. He’d never dreamt of anything that apparently gave you a sense that you had ‘seen it’. At least that’s how Haru put it. Fuck them. Fuck. Them. Both.

Ergh, what was wrong with him?!?! Makoto sighed, he needed to get whatever this was out of his system. He was going for a run. Not a swim. A run. He was going to pull himself together. Besides, if he didn’t have an animagus it didn’t really matter as long as everyone else was happy. His gut twisted at the thought. He ignored it.

***

Sousuke watched Rin throw an arm around Haru “This is going to be AWESOME! You’re a dolphin, I’m a shark – we can swim together!”  
Sousuke sighed, at least he could swim as his spirit animal, whatever it was… well, he’d just deal with it when it happened.

“Sousuke senpai?” he looked around to see Ai standing next to him.  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you- can I ask, what’s your animagus form?”  
Sousuke really really didn’t want to tell Ai. Rin was one thing, but god, being smaller than Ai in his animagus form would just be painful.

“I don’t know.” He said shortly  
“But- you- I mean you said you had the dream-“ blurted Ai  
“I know that. I didn’t see it properly.” He sighed, he should probably set a good example and own up to his animagus form, besides it would be a part of him and he was going to have to love it eventually.  
“I think it’s a lantern shark.” He said in a low voice.  
“What’s that?”  
Sousuke sighed “It’s a very small shark.”  
“Oh.” Ai looked up at him, he almost looked like he was going to say something reassuring. Sousuke stared him down, until Ai decided that that would be a very stupid idea.  
“Do you want to know what mine is?” asked Ai. Sousuke supposed it would be rude to say ‘not particularly’, so he kept his mouth shut.  
“It’s a duck.”  
Sousuke looked at him in surprise “you’ll be able to fly!” he blurted unthinkingly  
Ai nodded, “well, yeah, but I mean – it’s a duck.”  
Sousuke decided he really didn’t give a shit about Ai’s insecurities right now, not when his own were so spectacular. Besides which, being a duck was excellent, they could swim and fly.  
“So what.” he said roughly, before turning away.

***

“Where has everyone gone?” asked Rin looking around.  
Haru didn’t deign him with an answer.  
“Seriously, did they ditch us??” repeated Rin, affronted.  
Haru sat down next to the pool, and took out his bento, thinking.  
Rin made a tschah sound before following suit.

“I finally thought Sousuke was going to stop doing weird shit like this, but no, OF COURSE NOT, not Sir Dark and Mysterious. Can’t even be bothered to stick around for lunch, oh no. Probably off making potions or some shit like a dweeb.” Rin said angrily stabbing at his bento with his chopsticks.

Haru said nothing.

“He finally told me something you know, not 3 years after the fact, yesterday, finally, and now it’s like – oh hey? Do I know you?” mimicked Rin, brandishing his chopsticks. “He fuckin skipped eating breakfast with me this morning. And our morning run. I mean I know he’s freaking out about his animagus but he promised me after the shit with his shoulder he wasn’t going to just do everything on his own. And now he’s doing this!”

Haru had been carefully eating throughout Rin’s speech and now he was finished. “Do you know where he is?” He asked logically  
“What do you mean? I guess, I do? He’s probably sulking behind the demountables.”  
“Well I’m going to find Makoto.” stated Haru, standing up.  
“Oh, right, okay”  
Rin watched Haru walk away.  
“What the fuck, have I got leprosy or something?”


	5. The Headland

Thank God they were seniors, was all Sousuke could think, as he walked out of the school gates and away from the town toward the south – there weren’t any beaches down there, and the rocks were too dangerous to fish on, so Sousuke knew he was guaranteed solitude.

He had to learn to accept his animagus form. He knew that. Whatever it was, it was part of him and he was going to love it even if it was a shallows dwelling 20cm long shark.

He tried to remember what it looked like again. But the dream had trickled away so fast all he could remember was a shadowy outline and maybe some spots. He was pretty sure lantern sharks had spots. He sighed, even Ai had a more impressive animal. He shouldn’t feel bitter about that, but he did. At least he’d seen his creature, he reminded himself.

He just, he hated to admit it, but he’d wanted his animagus form to match Rin’s, to match Haru’s – a strong powerful sea creature. Something he could explore the ocean as, something that would make him forget his shoulder. He focused on the horizon, and the sting of salt in his nostrils. Stop thinking. Don’t force it.

He needed to take his mind off all this crap. And as far as Sousuke was concerned, there was only one way to do it. He turned off onto a path that was slightly overgrown. From what he could remember, this path would lead him part of the way down to a tiny beach, and from there he could climb up to the headland.

Suddenly someone ran in front of him. A tall, brown haired someone.

***

“Makoto??!?!” Sousuke yelped, startled. He had never seen anyone on this track before.  
Makoto stopped “Sousuke? What are you doing out here?”  
Sousuke shrugged. “I was heading over to that headland.”  
Makoto looked toward the cliff face Sousuke was pointing at – it was a sheer rock wall, Makoto couldn’t see how you could climb up. “That looks difficult to get to?” he said hesitantly.  
“Yeah, it is.” Sousuke grinned. “I used to climb up there when I was a kid.”  
Makoto looked at the rock again, and looked back at Sousuke. He didn’t really know Sousuke, truth be told, but now he could definitely see why he and Rin got on so well. Only a complete maniac would think that was a good idea.

Sousuke gave Makoto a measuring look, then - “You can come if you like.”  
Makoto was taken aback, did Sousuke not know that Makoto was a complete coward???   
Actually, thought Makoto, he didn’t. Sousuke didn’t know anything really… Makoto could do whatever he wanted.  
Makoto looked at Sousuke curiously, “okay…”

He regretted it immediately as Sousuke casually stepped off the path. At that moment Makoto’s stupid brain reminded him that Sousuke was crap with directions, and they would probably get lost and die. Makoto gritted his teeth, he was not going to chicken out.

They trudged down toward a little beach through thick grass, Makoto could feel it whipping at his ankles. He carefully followed Sousuke’s footsteps, and tried not to think.

They were almost at the beach, there were just a few rocks between the grassy ledge where they were standing and the sand. Sousuke sprang down like a mountain goat, easily skipping over the rocks. Makoto hesitantly put out a foot, and began to press his weight down on a rock… it wobbled. He stepped back.

“Are you okay?” Sousuke called out.  
“Fine!” Makoto called back, his voice several octaves higher than he would’ve liked. Sousuke skipped back over the rocks, and held out his hand. Makoto took it. Sousuke held his hand firmly, and led Makoto through the boulders.

The sand felt marvellous after the rocks. Makoto smiled gratefully at Sousuke. Sousuke grinned back, before turning his attention to the cliff.

Makoto followed his gaze, it was even more intimidating close up, Makoto thought. This was a stupid idea.  
“We have class this afternoon…” he began, hoping Sousuke would get the hint.  
“No we don’t.” Sousuke reminded him unhelpfully, before he walked over to the bottom of the rock formation, found a hidden foothold, and hoisted himself up.  
“Sousuke? Are you sure that’s safe?” Makoto hedged again.  
“Nope.”  
“What about your shoulder?”  
“What about it?”  
“What if you fall?”  
“I’ll fall.”  
Makoto watched nervously as Sousuke began to climb.  
“Don’t be scared.” Sousuke called over his shoulder.

Makoto battled with himself, he sort of really wanted to do it. Sort of REALLY didn’t. Normally maybe he wouldn’t. But maybe this was exactly the sort of thing he needed to do to unlock his inner self or whatever. Besides, Sousuke didn’t know him, he could do whatever he wanted.

He watched Sousuke for another minute. It didn’t look so hard. He put a foot onto the rock. Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself up.

Sousuke grinned down at him.

The rocks were huge and unforgiving, but they were strong. Sousuke seemed to know some hidden pathway, edging along one rock, pulling himself up another. Makoto scrambled up after him. Sousuke led him higher and higher until he could see all of Iwatobi.

Makoto gulped. He could see all of Iwatobi.  
“Oh SHIT!” he yelped.  
“Don’t look down!” Sousuke shouted unhelpfully. Makoto’s eyes were glued to the drop. His hands began to shake.

“Makoto, come on!”  
Makoto took a deep breath and tore his eyes away.  
“We’re almost there!” Sousuke called down again.  
Gritting his teeth, Makoto began to climb again. 

It wasn’t so bad, really. The drop was terrifying, but the foothold and handholds were big and easy to get a grip on. Sousuke was clever after all, the way they were going wasn’t straight up. They were zigzagging, and if Makoto was honest, he had never felt as if he was actually going to fall. He began to enjoy it, feeling a burn in his muscles that he hadn’t felt in a long time – swimming and running was one thing, but this, this wasn’t about training, or Haru. This was exercise that didn’t serve a purpose – it was just fun.

Makoto smiled, carefully hoisting himself over another ledge. Unbidden, an imagine of young Sousuke being dared to climb this by Rin came into his mind. Rin. Once again a rush of hatred ran up his throat. Shut up. He concentrated on the climb.

***

“We have class this afternoon…”  
“No we don’t.” Sousuke said, looking back at Makoto’s face. Makoto did look a bit hesitant. He supposed the cliff did look sort of intimidating when you first saw it, but that was part of the appeal. He walked over to the bottom of the cliff, put his foot on a well-worn ledge, and hoisted himself up.  
“Sousuke? Are you sure that’s safe?” Makoto asked.  
“Nope.” Sousuke answered truthfully.  
“What about your shoulder?”  
“What about it?” His shoulder twinged painfully, belying his flippancy. He set his jaw, and turned back to the cliff.  
“What if you fall?”  
“I’ll fall.”  
He pulled himself up another ledge. His shoulder twinged again. If he died falling, well the irony wasn’t lost on him, he’d fallen from great heights before – so close to the international stage, and now he might not even be able to climb a few rocks.  
Sousuke looked over his shoulder, Makoto hadn’t moved.  
“Don’t be scared.” Sousuke called out. Before turning back and finding another hand hold.

How could he be a lantern shark?? It wasn’t fair. Fuck this shit. If he did fall, maybe he’d be better off. Rin could be with Haru like he’d always wanted, and he, Sousuke’d be out of the way. After all he was nothing but a disappointment, and his animagus form had been his last real hope. His thoughts skimmed and dived, taking pieces of him and tearing out savage chunks. Concentrate on the rocks. Concentrate. Don’t think. 

He could hear Makoto climbing below, he looked down, seeing the thatch of brown hair steadily making its way toward him. Sousuke smiled, at that moment Makoto looked up and smiled back.

Sousuke kept climbing, remembering the times he’d forced Rin to climb up with him. Back before there was any Haru.

“Oh SHIT!”  
Sousuke looked down and abruptly felt mildly queasy.  
“Don’t look down!” Sousuke shouted, watching as Makoto stood motionless staring below him.

“Makoto, come on!”  
Makoto seemed to steady himself.  
“We’re almost there!” Sousuke called down again.  
Makoto began to climb again. 

A rush of pride stole up Sousuke’s spine. He looked out at the view, his left hand gripping hard to the rock behind him. He could see Iwatobi, the beach where they’d begin their transformations, Samezuka, the forests climbing the hills, Rin’s house, his house, and the horizon that stretched out forever.

He grinned, then turned back to the ledge, carefully walking along it to the next foot hold. And another. And another. Slowly gaining speed as he remembered the old path.

Before he knew it he was at the top, holding out his left hand for Makoto.

They sat panting, and grinning.

“Do you do this often?” asked Makoto  
“Not really. I just felt like it. Needed some air.”  
Makoto nodded.

Sousuke breathed in hard through his nostrils, the wind pleasant on his face. He lent back on his hands, his shoulder twinged again.

“What’s your animagus form again? Because I swear it should be a mountain goat.”  
Sousuke’s expression clouded over. But he grinned through it and ignored the question “It’s a fantastic view!”   
Makoto nodded in agreement.

They stared out at the horizon.

Sousuke wondered. Maybe Rin was right. Maybe he should focus on the spots, the one part of his animagus form he definitely knew.

“Sousuke!”

Sousuke looked around abruptly.  
“Did you hear that?”  
Makoto shook his head.  
“What was it?”  
“I thought… I thought I heard…” He was still listening hard. “My name?”  
Makoto looked out over the beach. “I can’t see anyone.”  
“No…”  
Sousuke was still listening hard.  
“I thought it was… Rin?”  
“Rin? Rin’s not here, Sousuke.”  
“No…”  
Sousuke seemed to shake himself slightly.  
“No, no, of course not.”  
“Are you alright?”  
It suddenly hit Sousuke how utterly fucked he was. His shoulder was aching badly again. Why the fuck did he climb this thing. He looked over at Makoto, and opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

He turned away.

 

“We should get back. Haru and Rin have probably finished their training.”  
The dam seemed to break at Makoto’s words.  
“Fuck.” Sousuke exhaled slowly. “Why is it always Haru and Rin.”  
Makoto’s eyes, normally so green, took on a steely silvery quality.  
He didn’t say anything, but he did reach out to place a hand on Sousuke’s shoulder, he squeezed slightly.

Sousuke swallowed, before standing up abruptly. “We should head back.”  
Makoto stood up too “will you come up here again?”  
Sousuke shrugged, “depends,”  
“Well, maybe I’ll see you here next week.”  
“Yeah. Maybe you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I haven't forgotten this! I have it all plotted out - I'm just taking a while to write it!! Thanks for reading!!


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